Why am I at the doctor all the time?

Let me start by getting a few things out of the way:

     - I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS. It's terrible and I hate it.
     - I am in almost constant pain.
     - Also, there are lots of other terrible awful things that come along with PCOS.
     - This has also created severe anxiety and depression issues.
     - Brian and I do not want any children.
     - I'm 33 years old and other than this, I'm very healthy.
     - Normal blood pressure, Normal cholesterol, Normal blood sugar.

So, today I went in to meet with a specialist because I've been on and off medication that makes me crazy and sick and tends to make the symptoms worse rather than better. Some of these symptoms have included insomnia, anemia, hair loss, depression, weight gain, nausea, etc. My doctor recommended a hysterectomy or an ovariectomy and referred me to the specialist that I saw today. I was actually looking forward to this because I am really ready for a permanent solution.

The specialist told me that they will not perform any operation for me. Apparently I'm too young to make the decision regarding my fertility even though I'm very clear that Brian and I do not want children. So, I have to go back for more testing. I'll be put on a new regimen of medications with who knows what additional side effects. And in 2 years when I'm 35, we can **consider** surgery as an option again and then in 7 years when I'm 40, it's no big deal, they'll clear it all out cause I'll be too old anyways.

As a side note, it doesn't help that in the waiting room I was asked by a woman there what hair dye I used that is safe during my pregnancy. That's never great for the old self esteem.

I feel defeated. Still in pain. Issues not addressed. Shut down. Disappointed. I'm going to call around to see if a different doctor can help me out. Also thinking about trying a homeopathic route. But today, I'm just a sad panda. I was hoping for a solution and instead I have more questions.

One month in... 22 pounds gone...

Well, I've made it to the 1 month point with P90X and I've seen some great progress so far!

I've lost 22 pounds and can see a difference when I compared photos side by side, although I'm not brave enough to post those photos online just yet :)

It's been a difficult journey, but I'm committed and more motivated than ever. I've been sore. Every. Single. Day.

It also doesn't help that I've been pretty sick the last couple of weeks and working out hard core while having to deal with pretty severe asthma has been quite the adventure.

I still crave sweets and try to curb those cravings with healthier snacks like strawberries and oranges. I also have been drinking a protein hot chocolate since regular hot chocolates are off the list for now and they are my FAVORITE.

Starting February 1, I also took on a gallon challenge, where I drink a gallon of water a day. This has also been surprisingly difficult, especially since I'm having to run to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes while it's still early in the process.

Plus sides have been feeling generally better and less sluggish overall, clearer skin, my clothes seem to fit better, and I've been sleeping really well at night without any pharmaceutical help. I also have become more confident in the workouts and have even started increasing my weights!

Oh yeah and Lucky and I are back on our walks at the park and she LOVES it!!

Not sure I'm on the right track...

I've been a "pinup model" for almost 4 years now and I think I'm approaching the end. I'm finding it harder and harder to stay inspired.

It's been a constant struggle for me weighing the good and the bad. I'm a naturally introverted person, so attending events and meeting the public can be very physically and emotionally exhausting for me.

My family doesn't approve. I have to deal with insults on my page on a regular basis. I have to deal with catty girls that say negative and hurtful things about me. On the flip side, I love the friends that I've made in the community. I've met people that I know will be in my life for the long haul. I've been able to explore other sides of my personality and really branch out creatively. I get to help encourage women to be sexy and comfortable in their own skin. I get to spread a message against hate and against bullying. I've loved spreading the message of body acceptance.

I'm very torn. Where does this lead me? What do I expect to achieve by continuing? Am I just fooling myself thinking that I have any influence in this community at all? I live a retro lifestyle. These are not costumes for me, they are my clothes. I roller set my hair and wear false lashes everyday. It has become my life.

The thin line between Candice Iverson and Candy Coconuts gets kinda blurry sometimes.

Housewife Life

Wow! I had a very busy day of housewife-ing today! It's so nice to have the extra time to get stuff done around the house!

I was able to go through all of our kitchen cabinets and get rid of anything that had expired and things that we're not using anymore. I am now actually excited to go through the rest of our cabinets and storage areas to get rid of all this stuff that we no longer need!

I also did my workout, got a load of laundry done, squared away our trip to Vegas in April, booked a couple of photo shoots, organized some clothes that I'm selling, and will have dinner hot and ready for Brian when he gets home!

Great day for the Real Housewife of the NB!

I'm BACK! Real Housewife of the NB!

Hello!! Wow, it's been a while since I was writing on my blog, but I'm back to housewife-ing and thought that it was only appropriate to blog about it. It's also nice that I have the time to do so!

So, a quick catch up with what's going on. I left my most recent contract at Microsoft in December and spent most of that month hanging out with my niece Hokulani (and my sister Noel) in Spokane. We had a ton of fun. It's so hard to believe that Hokubaby is almost 2, and man is she SASSY!

Brian and I spent Christmas Eve and Day with my in-laws in Chehalis, and then spent the following four days back in Spokane with my family. We all had a super fun time and a wonderful (although busy) holiday. Brian and I made it back home with Lucky for New Year's Eve and we even made it to midnight!

On January 6th, I started the P90X program after lots of encouragement from my sister. So far, I'm a week in and I have muscle pain in places I didn't know there were muscles!! It's been difficult, but I'm hanging in there and I do enjoy the immense feeling of accomplishment at the completion of each workout! I've also been tracking my meals on MyFitnessPal.com through their app on my phone, and it has really helped me to be very aware of what I'm eating throughout the day. I also feel good about the fact that I'm not doing this to lose weight. I want to FEEL better. I want to be STRONGER.

Ahhhh... Housewife-ing On Sunday

Wow! I've been so busy with birthday celebrations and work and planning my trip to Paris! Yesterday, TheHubby and I went to Oktoberfest Northwest with a bunch of friends and had a grand time! I dressed up (of course) in my dirndl complete with pigtails and it was a hit! I even had complete strangers come up to me and ask to take pictures with me!

We got home around midnight, and since I pulled something in my back at the gym last week, my back was KILLING me! I took a pain killer and managed to sleep in until 11 this morning.

I made a little brunch for TheHubby to munch on while he was hypnotized by the NFL and then I went tanning. After tanning, I relaxed and caught up on some TV with TheHubby and put a meatloaf in the oven. It had been a while since we had meatloaf and it was the perfect thing for this gray North Bend Sunday. TheHubby definitely approved! After dinner, it was time to finish up some laundry and I managed to put together some chocolate chip walnut cookies for dessert.

Now, I'm going to enjoy some lemon tea in my favorite mug and get in a little more relaxing before the crazy work week ahead. XOXO!

Birthday Month!

It's September... That means BIRTHDAY MONTH!!

I'm having an awesome pirate themed party tomorrow night, but wanted to blog about how awesome my birthday month has been so far this year!

Since September 1st, TheHubby has surprised me with birthday cards every single day. Somedays with more than one card! It's been so nice and super sweet to find these cards throughout the house with a sweet little note inside to wish me a happy birthday. Check out my collection... (these are only some of the cards)

Then today, my parents decided to take me out to lunch to celebrate my birthday since I will be working on my actual birthday. We went out for mexican food and it was awesome!  They of course insisted on taking a couple of pictures before we left for our lunch...

Then, after I got home from lunch, I started putting all of my costume items together for the big party tomorrow. I am so excited!! Some of the things included are fishnet stockings, ruffly pink undies, an eye patch, stripey socks, a corset, an awesome pirate skirt and a ribbon that says "Kiss Me It's My Birthday" :) I'm hoping for LOTS of love tomorrow!! Yay!!